i lYk beinG mE!!

"I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean "

i simply love these lines , you know they stroked my head in the very first fluke..
amazing innit,,so i started writing and this was the first line banging my head, i lyk being me, truly me! despite i know am i total jerk at times, i keep dilapidating the situations but still..

i barely get this? how people manage so many faces, one at workplace, one at home, one with friends, one wd whom yu're around. Few days past, somebody suggested me that i should also give it a taste and ergo, i tried, i tried to walk nicely, talk a way much less then before, dress-up graciously with decent skinny jeans and a nice signature tee, rather then some cramped XL t-shirt, yeah worth mentioning, perfectly falling hair :) :)

After an hour, it was a total FIASCO... i just found i was someone else , geez!
the veneering of the get-up is still easier but an attempt to talk less ...huh'darn it. The time i remained silent,all i could do is keep my vigilance on the perception of the person next to me, and it made me queasy and nervous. All of a sudden i started realizing that i missed me so much, like the way i babble without giving a hoot to others is my way rather then peeping fatuously into someone's acephalous thoughts.

with me being me, i relished all the hostilities around, world seemed better. More confident and More focussed this time, i am on my way!! :)

happy b'day shilpa!! Nov 12'10

To a lass wd sparklin eyes,
who makes me forget al my fright.

she's an epitome f innocence,
thou ful f nonsense,

bt she's an angel verily & solely,
&can extract words outta me even wen m dumb n lonely.

to her i dedicate dis ABAB rhyme,
cz wd my complex scribbles she's neva fyn :)

p.S.-u're my fav pet,lol :D best best best sister
realy miss yu, hpy b'day choti!

10 things i hate about you..

not entirely primitive from my mind

I hate the way you used talk to me,

and the way that you'd neva cut your hair.

I hate the way you changed at par,

I hate it when you glared.

I hate your reckless attitude

and the way it made me smile

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even eats away the rhyme.

I hate the way you thot you were always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me forget all d mess in life,

even worse when you make me realize that you were the sole cause.

I hate it when you are not around,

and the fact that you bumped in all of a sudden.

But mostly I hate the way I want to hate you,

and after that i realize m not even close to..

may be it l'il bit but that's commensurately null

p.s.-its d modified thing outta the one in the movie!

daZZled N bedaZZled!!... whatever m just shackled!!

though the words seem too close,but the level of perplexity i am going through, even they are parted, totally unclouded ! hehehehe
The spontaneity of my life is at its pinnacle, i enjoy every whit of it. My independence for me, is my identity. Tables have turned, the ball is in the court but i am frozen, y? what m i seeking? i am sick of my own abstruse attitude this time. I cant figure out what i exactly ponder on, trust me its immensely abominable...
sometimes i even dead reckon that i am bound to some reckless spell casted on me by someone, totally entangled in some prebuilt cobweb.
The strangest thing happening is- DREAMS ah'heaven, i never ever dreamt since yore but recently dunno what has stuck, the same college , classes, and my monotonous schedule even dint spare my dreams. People dream about b'ful things, things they want to achieve, or things they are dreadful about. But not something as insignificant as College it aint worth...
its bin a month and `10 days...miss you mom n dad, you are life, m just a part of it. and this homesickness is making me totally muddled :( :(

Polarities of the mankind!

well now when i have just passed a whit of my life, what i figured about the people around me, the one's i have met, and many, whom i acquaint less, i Came to a conclusion,,

there are two types of people merely:

1. Who resemble a mirage, such individuals seem so tempting from a distance but as you go closer you find that how fleetly their charm slices down.

2. The latter are, the one's like an exceptional piece of impressionism, they may appear vapid at the very first eye shot but as you part from them to a considerable length, you realize how overwhelming they are...





....quest is still on!

why am i so idle today?

Why am I so idle today?
When I ruminate of the days swayed,
I wonder, of the dad’s cup of tea in d morning,
Reaching the bus fuddling and falling...
Each step was immaculate and clear
It was the life at home, tranquil and placid
In the shell of mom n dad appositely flaccid,
Dregs of reminiscences enchant me,
Though today I am just a little far
But still the distances seem so large,
Living today, last days of my teens,
I feel the soreness of hurtling ahead is umpteen

work is what you make of it!

well i have written this one after getting unfeignedly fascinated by the article in "The Times of Ideas". It had the same heading as my post.
"WORK IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT"
The article said- Work is external but our attitude to it is internal.A certain attitude may make us feel work is miserable while another kind of attitude makes it pleasant. By cultivating the right attitude, we will become spiritual".

These were the lines which stroked my head, and got imbibed there in a persistent way. how fatuous are we? i wonder, before heading for anything or any target we frame our own point of view, without even treading further. We start squawking about things even before examining them and this is the ground which solidifies our probability to fall.

Today in this flock of people every one is desperately fighting for even a space enough to occupy a single foot. For every smallest possible thing the saying by Darwin "survival of fittest" comes to fore. In this loud dissonance from all the directions we neglect ourselves , our own inner voice , our ability to do and to achieve. We forget the most important quote of all i.e. "thoughts become things". Whatever you think you can have, you can only grab that but even if your efforts are sincere but so as the pessimism in your mind it will never be yours.

come on people go ahead think that u ll have it and at the end u ll definitely possess it

my volition...

The very first time I parted,
My entwined lashes
A huge space, an open sky
Imbibed in my eye.
I thought I was free,
Geared up for a spree.
But don’t know what was
That entangled me,
I was condemned to be numb,
But I rebelled, I paced
I broke the lane, I slewed
But the world couldn’t bear
I was made to shear
My dreams, my aspirations.
At that moment I sensed
Something drenched up my eyes
I reckoned I was concrete enough
But something in me was melting inside
I was conked out, gave up all my will
But then there was someone…
Who was the only streak
Of hope, of optimism
Once again he made my eyes gleam
Placed the smile, vanished the wry
the water in lashes was made to dry
he was the one yes he was
I fuddled my eyes to see
The one who elevated me
But murkiness was predominant
The clarity lacked
but I surged ahead
I went close, I went near
In the rear i found a mirror
it was my will, my strength
which stood by me throughout the length
through all the ups, all the downs
I thought I was alone but
My will never parted
It persisted and made me persist…

darkness ...my own

Wandering in the narrow streets,
dingy, dark corners,
with no sign of life.
Could I spot brightness somewhere?
I wondered.
My feet were torn.
Some dark fluid oozed out,
What color it possessed?
I could not see,
For it was dark.
The castle of life
lay ahead,
As they'd said.
As I reached,
Hundreds of flashes focused on my face.
Strong illuminations restricting me,
The brightness killing me.
I could not bear,
Again I was on my thorny path,
And I loved it,
What if it was dark:
My own self predominating,
And I continued
To reach my final destination,
The ultimate goal,
As the darkness was my own.

someday, somewhere

Today I sit back, somewhere in oblivion,
lost in a tempest of thoughts waving up and down.
I see myself, treading along an abandoned course,
walking barely with my solitude.
I have impelled myself,
then why do I remorse,
I know, it’s crystal-perfect what I chose.
There’s no bifurcation, no uncertainty,
but still, I hold-off for the day,
which is somewhere unspecified in the
ulterior stage, for I know it will come.
There will be a lot more to this day,
than lonesomeness, than solitude.
Genuine smiles would be scattered,
fading the faux happiness.
I will be the blazing streak in the galaxy,
much above the entangled mere being.
Life would be larger than a forfeit.
Though the world would be around,
but it still would not surround.
A flap of exemption would be everywhere,
that’d be the beautiful day exemplifying perfection.
Yeah, the pessimistic thoughts do obfuscate me,
but they can’t frail me, I know,
my perseverance and patience would not go in vain,
Someday, somewhere I know what all I have lost I will gain…