Thoughtless

When the walls dissolved

The shadows vanished

The kite flew astray

Longed to go back

Slayed trails screamed

The entwined lashes felt a shiver

 Shattered mirror of dreams

Inquisitively stared, giggled

Stood there perplexed

Facing an infinite

Running away from the other

Thoughtless as ever

Group 280

Part 1
That guy, who looked like a dream, well dappered in a black suit, a slightly displaced tie( which made me want to reach out to him and adjust it) just entered the room. Those big eyes on the angular face wandered through the hall artistically as if he was there to find me (obviously he was trying to spot his group number for the GD). The moment when our eyes met i immediately realized i had been gawking at him and exactly like a thief caught in action i started looking here and there.

Part 2
I was totally worried about my interview and focused on myself and as usual forgot about him. But to my serendipity, for the other round when i entered the hall looking for my group i felt someone's eyes on me and when i looked, there he was, all dovey-eyed sitting  in the slot for group 280. I stopped for a second caught my breath and sat silently with all the attitude in the world dripping from my face (i always end up doing this inadvertently :-( SAD!) Did not even look in the direction he sat, Moreover ended up having a little altercation with him during the group discussion but he was always peaceful and calm. After that just cursed myself and sat as far as possible until the names for interviews were called.

Part 3
Two of us with an air of weirdness sat on adjacent chairs waiting for our turns. There were butterflies in my stomach, so many butterflies because of both the mysterious silent guy sitting extremely close to me plus my interview which was going to decide the next two years of my life. I finally decided to break the ice, and initiated the conversation. Those five minutes were really a moment of camaraderie, we belonged to the same organisation, had lived in the same place for two months and many more.

Part 4
We laughed heartily and chatted gleefully like the long lost friends who had never met before. It was a crisp and honest conversation. And then, the bell rang and his turn for the interview came I wished him and then after he came back i went inside with a wonderful smile and his lovely wish. I had a great interview and by the time i came out he had been waiting for me. We just looked at each other, smiled and waved a generous Good bye with best wishes. I stood there to complete my formalities and suddenly i glanced down to find him looking at me from the lift moving downstairs. I just looked at his eyes, a look of hope, a question and a smile, radiant beautifully in his eyes. 

I too smiled and every thing went in a slow motion until then my mind exclaimed What the Fuck! we discussed almost our two years in the organisation but we didn't even ask each other's name or anything :) And we knew the probability of meeting each other again was almost null for us and then his face flashed in front of my eyes and i deciphered that unspoken question in his eyes...

The 'ERECT' Indian Male

With every new case, every alternate day, we come across with umpteen gruesome aspects of inhumanity, which our men or the Cannibals cloaked as men depict. With every new incident the weenies make sure that they do surpass the savagery of the previous one. Do they take it as a way to testify their 'bestial' prowess ? ...Commit a crime far more worse, sepulchral and horrendous than ever committed and win the grade A of monstrosity. Or it's just that we have been breeding psychopaths in our verandas.According to the NCRB, National Crime records bureau every hour, every sixty minutes two women are raped in this country. Isn't it enough for a wake-up call or for our sleeping nation or it is just statistics, a data to be amassed and piled up under dust-covered folders. As an add-on Our politicians come up with their beautiful verdicts, verdicts which speak less of their opinion but more of their mental sub-standards and lunacy. They say "boys make mistakes", it's the girls who arouse men! Blah.

Well coming to the point; One fine evening, while sipping my favorite masala tea and embracing the beautiful drizzle in the city, I happened to look down from my window. I saw something that raged every bit in me. But like every other girl-who-is-on-her-own in a big city i had to ignore it, suppress it and let it go for my own safety. But that rage in me provoked me to write today. For many people it would be a simple incident but it en-kindled in me, a wrath which could not be subdued. It was around 5 o clock, the street was swarmed with people coming back from work, going to meet a friend, running the regular weekday errands et cetera. There was a group of around three-four savages, hardly high school students who stood near the end of the road. They were laughing and chatting vociferously, hurling every other curse word at each other & having a time of their lives! Then a girl, with a slender pale face, a tinge of make-up and dressed at her best probably to meet someone special walked by, they ogled, spewed out sick comments on her dress and again laughed amongst each other. With an extremely broad victorious grin on the face of guy whose comment was heard by every possible bystander in the street and the girl as well. Standing by the window, I was not able to make out what was the pride on his face accounting for? Being audible in a huge space or being the most successful pervert of their clan. Then the two aunties witnessing the whole scene like me, gave their expert opinion on how inappropriately was the girl dressed, how viciously was she corrupting the minds of decent school kids! KIDS yeah that was the term they used for those debauched eve teasers who were old enough to flaunt the testosterone down their belly. The aunties commented, then bitched about their maids and then left. Leaving me perplexed. Aghast by their opinions, I kept standing to analyse was it the dress? was it girl? was all the ire in me pointless?

Standing for a while then i saw another girl, plainly dressed up in some casual t shirt and pajamas, she was there for the groceries talking to our building's sabjiwala. Earlier she wasn't noticeable,(a thought wandered in my mind for a second 'was-it-the-dress') but soon after she walked past them, same laughter, same ogling, comments were spewed again that how she was a 'maal' under the klutzy drape. How was she an item despite an all ugly get-up...etc. A girl has to bear no matter what is she wearing because our men are not only born with a mammoth libido but also with some wondrous women body scan!!! They don't see the face, the dress or anything else. The gender 'F' is a more than enough for them to take the other being for-granted, inferior and worthy of every possible atrocity & ruthlessness. Because that is what our society has taught us while growing up. Those were the high school kids belonging to an educated society, a reputed school, a strong family background if they didn't have a clue about the integrity of women what do we expect from our nation where a majority of our people belong to the low socio-economic status, striving for access to most basic needs of life and looking for any possible way to channel out that frustration they face every second just to survive.

Its not the background or school or anything that will account for the degree of perversion our men develop because it is based and deeply rooted with the bolstering pride of bearing the Y chromosome. To win over the oppression and injustice against the women we need to win over the mythical thinking that men are biologically and socially designed to be superior and women inferior. We need to respect ourselves before asking others to do so. We need to be proud, glad and thankful for the precious gift of femininity bestowed upon us. We need to accept our superiority to claim our rights. We don't need to hide as victims but fight back in an amazonian way. Rather then hiding the name of our victims, we should pay them homage as martyrs, name places after them, give them all the respect for the adversities they went through. They should rather be canonized than victimized. It's our change and only we can incorporate it. As Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. It's time we do!

Snarl'D

Nothing could storm away my rampart

Nothing could break even a fleck apart

For all my life it was what I raised

I boasted of it in vain

A day, I was benighted

Longed verily for a ray of light

Maze was growing upon me

Stood there frigidly numb

Banged my head, gasped for air

Was shackled with the black everywhere

It was a labyrinth of love

Delicate yet impregnable

It was trussed onto me

Or I was trussed onto it

Every move was pointless

Every attempt futile

With every Breaking wall

Something broke stronger inside of me…

कुछ तो...

डर सा था उस नये जहान से
दोस्ति ना थी उस खुले आस्मान से
पर लग रहे थे नये
फ़िर ना जाने क्यो
कुछ तो पीछे छूट रहा था

मंज़िल की खुशी के ऊपर
रास्ता खो जाने का सैलाब
कही उठ रहा था

आज के सन्नाटे मे भी
कल कि हसी गून्ज रही थी
उस नयी सुबह के शोर मे
मन क सूरज डूब रहा था

चार पल थे बचे
जैसे ज़िन्दगी के
हर पल जी लेने का
सुरूर भी ख्वाब लग रहा था

रफ़्तार वक़्त की
फ़लक छू रही थी
वो उङ्ती हुई पतन्ग भी
वापस नीचे लौट रही थी

रेत हाथो से बह चुकी थी
सिर्फ़ कुछ उल्झी सी
लकीरे सिमटी रह गयी थी
उम्मीद की किरन से
वो नया समा रोशन हो रहा था
फ़िर ना जाने क्यो
कुछ तो पीछे छूट रहा था।

SAY "NO"

How many times you have been ousted from your leisurely comfort zone in order to attend a party, greet the neighbors or smile at the bunch of ‘pain in the neck’ relatives?? I guess, umpteen. Every day we do a lot of things and most of the days’ just same things. It’s just the days that pass, not the schedule. After the Monday to Friday “RUN FORREST RUN” sessions, what one anticipates most is The Weekend. During this time, if some Home Warming ceremony or a Get together shows up it’s more like retribution for being the part of a society.
At times all of us confront such situations, where we cannot say “no” and saying “yes” is a deep breath of compromise, but you have to. For being a perfect fit, you need to take others along before you head. That’s what we’ve been taught since we were kids. Greet people no matter how much hate them, wear diplomacy as it gets your work done and please make every effort to please people. Well these are just some petty issues, the one’s mentioned latter shuffle your life rather than just pissing you off.
Man created a social environment for healthy survival but lately the term society and status in the society are rather emaciating the survival skills. If being rich is status symbol, so is being a Science student. People match surnames before falling in love. The ecstasy of life is lost somewhere. Now directly or indirectly the world in which you live in, decides what you are going to be and with whom you are going to be.
But this is it. Period. It is you who can put an end to this…All you have to do is say “NO” and don’t look back, you don’t need to wear faces any longer, pretend those faux smiles, draw yourself to science if you are an artist , it is your life and you are supposed to live not repent, be what you want to be and… Let someone like you for who you really are!!

Corollary of Drifting Mentations!!

Once I missed the smirk,
Now it’s the face
Said, don’t like to see you saturnine
But you opted to enshroud eternally
From the cipher ken of mine.
Once I never dreamt
Now I can’t cease
I fight my mind
the retraction does’nt rescind
Throughout the mirror
I look for the rays
But there’s always
Something other than the face,
I call myself, I surge
Come to me, I scream
After all in my way It’s only me
running for, That Quantum of Solace!